Passed the fit test with flying colors… sort of.

22Mar08

I passed. Barely, but I passed. Of course the push ups gave me trouble, not really because of my shoulder, but just because I’ve always sucked at push ups. But this is why I wanna do this program, so I can get better. Everything else I did well in, average or slightly above. So I’m ready. Tomorrow I go!

A loss at my meeting today, 4.6 actually, but no real celebrating, at least from me because it’s just me re-losing weight I already lost. I feel like such a loser. (And I don’t mean that in a good way). I feel like I’m working so hard and getting NOWHERE. My motivation is down. My enthusiasm is non existent. I told my mom today that I’m giving WW until August. If I can’t get this 20 pounds off by then, I’m done. I’ll find another way to track my eats, either to WW online or sparkpeople.com or fitday.com or whatever. But I am thinking that for as active as I am, WW just isn’t gonna work for me. Who knows. Maybe I’m just talking outta my ass. I’m just tired of it all.

Having trouble with my eats today as well. Really really bad. And I pretty much moved from a little extra food to a small binge. UGH. A binge on fatty, fatty junk. But I’m done. I swear. I’m serious. It stops, right here. It’s not that I dislike eating healthy, I just… miss the foods I used to eat, no matter how bad for me they are. I realize that if I’m gonna do this, my eating needs to be on point, but it’s a constant struggle. I’m just tired of going through this, sometimes it’s so hard to make myself stop. But because of Beck I’m trying not to beat myself up and get right back on track.

Filed under: P90X   |  
Tags: binge, fit test, fitday.com, P90X, sparkpeople.com, weight watchers